It’s Momplicated: Hope and Healing for Imperfect Daughters of Imperfect Mothers by Debbie Alsdorf & Joan Edwards Kay

About the book:

(from the publisher) Let’s face it: when it comes to mothers and their daughters, things can get a little . . . complicated. Momplicated, you might say.

Whether your relationship with your mom has been wonderful or stressful, redeemed or broken, close or nonexistent, it’s one of your life’s most important and defining connections. Its effects have probably followed you into adulthood.

If you have conflicting feelings toward mom―or if you wish you could get past some of the baggage that holds you back―this is your book. Combining spiritual disciplines and the best of current therapeutic practice, It’s Momplicated will help you discover

• How your early connection with your mother may have impacted your sense of self and your other important relationships―and what you can do to break the cycle
• Why you and your mother have the relationship you have―the underlying reasons that may be contributing to strain and unease
• Tools and exercises to help you cope with some of the most common effects of a broken relationship, including anxiety, depression, lack of confidence, and trust issues
• How to be the daughter and mother God wants you to be even if your mom wasn’t who you needed her to be.

It’s never too late to love, never too late to heal, and never too late to trust God to turn the pain in your story into a redemption song. As you read It’s Momplicated, you’ll realize that while God doesn’t promise to fix all your circumstances, He does promise to uphold you and lead you to a healing place of knowing you are truly precious and loved, no matter how your past has affected you.

Genre: Non-fiction/Christian Life/Women

About the authors:

Debbie Alsdorf is a writer and speaker who makes it her mission to help women live a better story by leading them to the heart of God’s love and the truth of his Word. Debbie is a biblical lay counselor, a Christian life coach, and the founder of Design4Living Ministries.

Connect with the author: Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

Joan Edwards Kay is a licensed marriage and family therapist in the East Bay of San Francisco and has been an adjunct professor at Western Seminary. She received her bachelor’s degree from Vassar College and her master’s degree from Western Seminary.

Connect with the author: Website

My take:

Some books come across my desk that I’d like to press into the hands of just about every woman I know. This is one of those books.

I say so because I’ve found it rare to encounter a woman who, when honest, doesn’t admit to some rather complex emotions attached to her relationship with her mother. Most of us acknowledge some aspects to the relationship we love and appreciate, others we wish might be different. Further, we often worry about carrying these less desirable issues forward into our relationships with our own daughters. As the authors acknowledge in their title, it’s altogether momplicated.

Two aspects of this book set it apart from similar ones: 1) the focus is on the daughter’s unmet needs, which helps to shift blame away from mom and rightfully into the place where healing can occur, and 2) it calls on a right reliance on God to be an active participant in the healing process. The authors’ approach is completely honoring and respectful of moms, while at the same time acknowledging the struggle in many mother-daughter relationships. Personally, I’ve yet to read a book that made me feel more understood, my issues more empathized with. And left me with a surprisingly powerful, forward-looking conclusion.

It’s Momplicated combines a just-right balance of the practical and inspirational, all of which is richly supported by Scripture. This is also the rare book that is better written by two than one; I was glad for the individual insights and stories each woman brought to the collective. Together, they deliver an engaging writing style that is highly relatable. My personal copy is heavily underlined and starred so that I can easily return to significant points.

While it’s ideal for women with moderate to severe mom issues, I’d say any woman who is a daughter or a mom will find it helpful. It’s Momplicated is one of the best books I’ve read on healing for women, and for me, one of the most transformational. Highly recommended.

Thanks to Tyndale House for providing me this book free of charge. All opinions are mine.

Buy it here.